In a hard place should we accept there are no good options?
‘Between a rock and a hard place”, “painted in a corner”, “up a creek without a paddle’ – with so may cliche’s one must assume that the feeling there are no good solutions is a common predicament. But the unexpected solution Karla Hackney’ relates in her July 26th article in the Hillsboro Patch shines light on a method anyone can rely on when facing this common frustration. Below are the first paragraphs and a link to read this helpful article in full.
We don’t see it coming, we only get two choices and both are completely unacceptable. What do we do?
We are handed a first-thing-tomorrow deadline, for instance. Because of expensive and once-in-a-lifetime plans for tonight, we say “no”. Left with no other choice, the boss issues an ultimatum, “… get it on my desk by 8:00 A.M.”
We can: 1) “cancel plans” OR 2) “leave career”
Both options – unsatisfactory.
And then it happens again…
Facing repeated “no-way-out” endings can affect health and wellbeing, reports the ADAA, and anxiety or depression can ensue. Statistics show that these two disorders are the most common mental illnesses in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults. These “lesser of two evils” scenes don’t happen just at work; they can take place in our marriages, our families, and our communities.
In her article, Caught between a rock and a hard place, psychologist and author, Beth Fisher-Yoshida Ph.D., CCS, suggests hopeful strategies that engage both parties in creating a solution while promoting the wellbeing of all. In the situation above, for example, the manager might ask for solutions and offer his support to meet the corporate deadline. It’s a strategy that reminds me of the Golden Rule, simply stated: “Do to others as you would have them do to you”.
During my professional years, I learned that effective and timely resolutions meant nobody feeling belittled, martyred or compromised – myself included. Rarely, however, was there time for a group “think tank”. Instead, it meant dropping my solution and giving the team some time to think things through.
That is when I would turn to the proverb “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5) This Scripture and the rule, “do it the way I’d want it done to me,” helped me be free of distrust, skepticism or subtle power-plays, and opened me up for new solutions.